05.21.07
Posted in Uncategorized at 7:48 pm by Sponge_Daddy
Please read our new essay, “OASIS.”
We have been working on it for a time but never seemed to be able to finish it.
With the unfortunate events with the move that have occurred today, we found that we were not as stressed about it as others would be. We put our heads together and came up with the solution Jamie mentioned earlier. Independent of the state’s or realtors actions, we will be heading west by the end of this month.
We are getting rid of the net after Tuesday. We are going to put the rest of our things into storage and begin the journey into the unknown.
Fear? No. Anxiety, not anymore. excitement, yes. While it is unknown, none of us never really knows how tomorrow will turn out, do we?
So we turned to the one thing we have an abundance of, love for each other. Hence we have finished the ”OASIS” essay. Please comment on the essay in this blog page.
We will miss chatting with some of you for the next few weeks, but we will be back. Sami, Pete, Matt, Jeff, John and the others (I can’t remember all of your names) please keep the emails coming. We will be back in touch.
Time for us to fly.
Sponge & Jamie
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Posted in Uncategorized at 2:36 pm by LadyHawk
Well as of right now we are being led around left and right. We do not what we are doing or where we are going from day to day. The state is still putting us on hold to where we dont know when we will be able to close on our home. We have been waiting for all this to go down so that we can get down there and look for work for me. When we could be down there with the children because they need us right now.
We are getting tired of just being sitting ducks. We grow tired of waiting on the state. We are getting ready to pack all our stuff and put it in storage. Go live in a campground until we get some definite place to go. It will and would be better then just waiting for things to happen. The state is not going to let us close until there is a well and the realtor isn’t going to dig the well until he has the money. The state will not even issue the check until the well is already drilled so we are just up in limbo and afraid of what may happen. We really do not want to lose this place. It is a beautiful home… everything we want in a home. We are praying to God to let it work out. But in the meantime we will go down there and stay in the land between the lakes. We are not going to just sit here and wait anymore. We are going to make action to get somewhere… some way. What ever we have to do to get there. The Hawk requires no permission from the pigeons. We will go…as we wish.
Take care,
LadyHawk
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05.20.07
Posted in Uncategorized at 7:39 pm by Sponge_Daddy
If everything goes as planned, we will be in our new home in about 11 days. We are due to go sign the papers this coming Friday. After that the brand new well for the home will be dug. Depending on how quick that is done, we should be out of what is left of Bullitt Bowl by the end of May. That is our goal.
Of course, we have done pretty much all that we can do. Right now we are at the mercy of the red tape of the department of highways. They could theoretically keep us here another few weeks if they choose to. Our home has to pass a state inspection and then have special windows installed to accomodate my bad eyes. The state will not let us get out of here until all of that is done, so it seems.
Also, this beautiful little cottage has not been lived in for two years. So not only will there be grass to mow and snakes to shoo off, we have to get a new liquid propane tank delivered. I am not sure if any of you have LP gas for heat, etc., but getting a new tank set up is really expensive.
Of course, Jamie cannot look for work until we are settled. All of you that follow us, please cross your fingers that the pencil pushers in Frankfort give this all a push. In theory, we could be staying the night there as early as next weekend.
Even if we do not have hot water for a short time, I have our grill. I guess we will treat it like a cabin in the woods.
Just so you know we are going to disconnect from the net in the next few days. We have to subscribe to DSL which may take time for them to run the line way out in our neck of the woods.
I am looking forward to devoting time to the kids, Jamie, my bowling game and especially my writing. I hope to be published by the end of this year.
Beside my motivational writings there are two short stories that have been in my head for many years. I think it is time to put them to paper, or rather, into text.
I want to thank ahead of time the following people for all of their help in the upcoming move, and for being good friends to Jamie and I: Crash Miller, Matt Jackson, Josh “Mr. Foot” Hensley, Mike Rodgers and of course, Amanda G.
I will have our new P.O. box set up in a few weeks and will publish it to the net as soon as I can. I must insist on a P. O. box as believe it or not there are stalkers of even ”Z-list” celebrities like yours truly.
I have come to value my private time. Every couple needs time to talk. Every family needs to share meals together and have family time. Every human needs time to think. I have denied myself this for far too long. My own fault, I overloaded myself with all of the causes I support. For a while at least, no causes, just Jamie and my babies. One thing at a time, our lives are getting where we want them to be. Now if we can just get her disease stable and then get me off of these steroids, well, one always has hope.
I may or may not be on here tomorrow. It all depends on when we disconnect from the net. Just know whenever that happens, I will return. One more blog.
Be well,
Sponge
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Posted in Uncategorized at 12:03 am by Sponge_Daddy
For two days now I have been frustrated beyond belief. That frustration only serves to make me more irritated with myself, as I teach others about staying positive in bad times.
As I posted the other night we had a stressful evening and Jamie would be ill.
Well, she is in quite a bit of pain now. Yesterday we even went to see our doctor and get her some narcotic pain killers. This might tell you something if you only knew how hard it is to get Jamie to take pain medication. If she is ASKING for Hydrocodone, then the pain must be bad.
Most of the time when i ask her to tell me her pain level on a scale of 1 to 10, I can count on her to subtract 2 from the real number, so that I do not fret or stew.
Yesterday and today she has admitted to level 8 or 9 pain. Even narcotics are not enough.
The source of my frustration is not being able to do anything about it. None of my usual tricks for fighting this disease and the pain involved are working.
Rather funny, in a sardonic kind of way. I accept this disease and all it brings to me. Days I crap my pants or can’t move from the pain I usually laugh it off as best I can and make the most of things.
But seeing her suffer through the agony I know she is in, well, that upsets me. Worse, I know there really is not much I can do other than offer support. Medicines, massages, holding her…none of it helps her pain.
And it really rubs my rhubarb.
I know there is not much I can do, but it is still agonizing to see her hurting.
Worse, I do not like the fact that I am so upset about this. I know better. Heck, I teach people how to deal with bad times! Right now I am not heeding my own lessons.
Every once in a while I go back and read some of my older SpongeOsophy essays about coping, etc. Tonight is going to be one of those times.
Be well,
Sponge
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05.17.07
Posted in Uncategorized at 5:09 am by Sponge_Daddy
Last night was really awful from my perspective. I watched Jamie get hurt, weepy, angry, then ill.
I constantly remind Jamie how special she is to me. How I take her as she is, no reservations, no improvements needed. Just as she loves me as I am, I adore her, ALL of her, even things she hates (like her smile).
Even though she has gained weight from the steroids, I point out the positives to her, like the new “F-cups” that come with it, lol. Since she and I met, I have tried to get her to focus on the positives, not just in life, but on herself. I also have tried to show her just how beautiful she is, and nice to look at too.
But tonight with a 15 minute phone call one person took her esteem back down a peg. No matter what she does, he has to remind her of things she has yet to do, and her flaws (as he sees them). Whether it is about her job, her weight, her finances, or other things, they have to be thrown in her face. When she does something truly great, there is no praise, only “What about…”
Since I know someone will show you this blog, John, I am going to address the rest to you.
I hope that makes you feel really good making her cry. I hope you enjoy knowing the stress and the pain and sickness you have caused her tonight. I had her pretty sedated, but it took holding her until 4 this morning to get her to sleep. Tomorrow she will be crying again from the aftermath of tonight, mainly the pain.
You know, just once, she would love to hear you say how proud you are….with no “but” at the end. You always talk about how the Coltraine’s make you feel.
She loves you dearly, you are her father, but she hates how you make her feel.
I don’t hate you John. I know that perhaps you mean well…you only want her to be the best she can be…but please do not tear her down anymore as her ex did. You may have loved her first, but i am the first to love her AS SHE IS.
If she wishes to better herself, it will be for herself. But to me, she just cannot get any better.
Be well,
Sponge
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05.16.07
Posted in Uncategorized at 10:58 am by Sponge_Daddy
i have updated the BOYCOTT essay. SPEEDAY gas sucks as a company.
Please log in and post your thoughts below, letting us know you will join the boycott.
We have not bought from them in almost TWO years.
Be well,
Sponge
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05.15.07
Posted in Uncategorized at 9:54 pm by Sponge_Daddy
Last night Jamie and I were frustrated with the whole situation. It seemed that we had found the perfect home to share with the kids, even signing a contract on it. However the state was apparently going to drag its feet with everything, so we might not have been able to get that home.
Even worse, since we were moving, no one would give Jamie a temporary job here. And from 200 miles away, getting a job in Graves county seemed impossible. Before calling it a night, we had decided that we were going to go down in a few days anyway, so that she could look for job, staying in a hotel for a few weeks.
At 9:30 this morning Mary Beth Johnson from the State Dept of Highways called to let us know that everything was a go. Then the realtor called. It looks like we get to take possession on the 25th. We should be moved out of where we live now by the end of may!
I called the kids, Ally is already packing! Alex is so excited, especially since we will be only a mile from where the kids live right now!
When my first wife and I split, I dreamed of a day when my children would be living with me. Two years ago, when I was married to my second wife, there was no way that would ever happen. Now, thanks to Jamie, and Mary Beth, my greatest hopes are not just hopes any more.
Not just a house, but a HOME. Finally, after 40 years…a home where there is no yelling, no violence, and no abuse of any kind. All because of Lady hawk. All because of her getting one of my red noses three years ago. All because of this awful disease, which i am very thankful for…it brought me misery for a time, but now the greatest joy.
Thank you Jamie.
Thank you to the makers of “Hawks” for the red noses.
Thank you Crohn’s disease.
Be well,
Sponge
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05.14.07
Posted in Uncategorized at 10:47 pm by LadyHawk
Sponge and I are kind of stuck right now. All we can do is sit and wait for the most part. We are waiting to see what to do as far as moving down closer to the kids. Still putting in job applications each week for me. Then packing things every day.. in between taking it easy for the most part. The time is needed for us to take it easy. But at the same time we are going stir crazy because we dont have a whole lot we can do because of finances as well as living situation. But in due time things will change and we will be ok. So as time goes by we wait… we laugh… we just enjoy today. Then it will progress to where we can enjoy forever together. With two wonderful kids… and a place to call our own. Until then… we will just be stuck in neutral.
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05.13.07
Posted in Uncategorized at 12:33 am by Sponge_Daddy
I want to wish a Happy Mother’s day to all of you Mom’s out there. Sadly, some are not mommies, they are just “mother’s.” So be sure to let that special Mommy in your life know how much you care by wishing her a Happy Mommy’s Day.
In honor of one special “Mommy” I wrote the following piece, “Mommy”
You may comment below on this essay, but in reality, it was written to show Jamie how much she means to my kids, and to myself.
Happy mommy’s Day sweety.
Sponge
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05.12.07
Posted in Uncategorized at 12:11 am by LadyHawk
We went to meet with the realtor as planned. But Mr. Majors did not have anything for us. The houses he had that would have suited us he had sold already. You could tell Mr. Majors felt really bad for not being able to do more and felt as if he wasn’t any help because he physically could not show us some houses. Because he was bound to a wheel chair. We thanked him and let him know he was a great help. After all he referred us to Mr. Bunch who in turn showed us a house this morning.
Mr. Bunch showed us our dream house and if all turns out we will be moved in it by the beginning of next month. Ally is already asking when she should start packing.
Thursday we spent time with our daughter Ally. While waiting to go see Alex’s concert. Alex had no clue about us coming. When he got there he was so very happy to see us. It is so wonderful to be so loved. He is a wonderful and sweet little boy. We really cant wait to live closer to them. He is definately a ham just like his daddy. After his performance he did the cutest bow. There is no denying Alex is his child. I see alot of Sponge in Alex. He is really going to be something. I see many good things in that little boy. A wonderful person as well as he will be just as inspiring. Through Alex Sponge will live forever. Alex carry on with pride. Your one of the best things to happen to this world. Ally and Alex the both of you will go far in life. There will always be just “One More Frame”.
Good luck in everything you do and we love the both of you.
take care,
Jamie and Sponge
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