06.06.07
Wherever you will go……
I am blogging from “parts unknown.” To be honest, I know where I am, so do a select few trusted friends. But to protect Jamie, we are keeping her exact location a secret. To make a long story short, her parents are having marital problems. Yesterday they were divorcing, today they are reconciling, tomorrow who knows.
The problem is that they put her in the middle, tearing her up emotionally and making her very ill. Seems that the drama bullshit follows us no matter where we are. Sunday night we were in a hotel in Mayfield, Kentucky enjoying time with our kids and Ally’s friend Tessa. Then the phone calls and the drama bullshit started…happy family time became crappy time.
They have made their pain hers, thus mine.
So I have done as Jamie asked and spirited her somewhere she feels safe. I could go back to our old home and stay, finish things up.
But that is not where I belong. If she needs to be in Timbuktu, I will stay there. If she needs me to “stand guard” over her 24/7 so that she feels safe, I will. Why? Because I love her. She would do the same for me. In fact, she has. I cannot think of anywhere else I want to be. Home is not a building, although we should be moving into our new home soon. Home is the feeling of warmth and safety and love. For Sponge Daddy, home is not the 1700 sq ft cottage we are getting. Home is the 5′ 2″ lady who cares only for me and the kids. Home is my daughter and my son. Soon we will all be under one roof. I would go anywhere for them. They know that, and that security I give to them is something I never had.
For now, I am Jamie’s protector and confidante. In another month it might be the other way around. This is how it should be.
I am home.
Be well,
Sponge
ps, Sami, we miss you too. We talk about you nearly every day. Keep in touch!
LadyHawk said,
June 6, 2007 at 2:22 am
Thank You honey for being so wonderful…thank you for standing gaurd over me and protecting me from this ugly world. Together I know we can overcome anything….together we will… soar above the ordinary. I love you my soaring hawk. Come soar with me… we will let the pigeons know they have no control over us Hawks….
Sami said,
June 7, 2007 at 12:21 am
Hi Jamie and Sponge!!
I’m sorry to hear your family is making their problems yours. I hope things will settle down for you soon. In this state of transition, you certainly don’t need other people’s problems in the way.
I’m really glad to hear from you. I think I checked your website daily to see if there were any updates. I hope it won’t be too much longer until you’re in your house. I won’t call it a home because you have already stated that you are already at home.
I am totally envious of both of you. I haven’t been able to be spontaneous for over 10 years. So when you told us that you were just going to move closer to where your new house is and not wait until everything was ready, I thought “wow! these people are really brave” I have a dream too. When my children have grown, I want to move to a much warmer place in the country. A place where it snows very little and I can walk along the beach and watch the ships. But for now, I have to be patient. I don’t want to take my children away from what is familiar to them - other family members, friends, school, etc. In the meantime, I’ll just dream and look at pictures. And hope they’ll want to come with us when we decide to make the move.
Please know that people think of you every day and hope the best for you. Take care and I will continue to check to see how you are doing - keep the updates coming!
Sami
Sponge_Daddy said,
June 7, 2007 at 12:39 am
Sami, to be honest, we have not “moved” as we are constantly moving about. We have three suitcases and our bowling stuff in our truck. We go pretty much where we are needed right now. Two days ago we were in Mayfield…this Saturday we will be in Lexington, KY, I am appearing at a tournament and going to see if I still have “game.”
While at times we feel we are at the mercy of the tides, we are free enough to go where we please. The point is our home is each other, no matter the address we are at.
I hope you get that dream. No dream is EVER futile, stupid, or grandiose. Only small people have small dreams. I admire your desire to provide for your kids emotional needs until then. The more I observe society, I see how rare it is when people put their children ahead of themselves. And Jamie and I both know the pain those children feel when their parents are selfish pigs. We work hard to be everything our parents never were. Your children should feel blessed, as should you for that wonderful heart you have.
Time to go give Jamie a bubble bath and wash away the day.
Be well,
Sponge